There is no point in hosting a beautiful wedding if the marriage that goes along with it isn’t built on a solid foundation. A strong marriage needs care and nurturing each and everyday, not something you just stumble around blindly at. Along with sharing tips and tricks for planning a wedding I want to use this space to come along side brides-to-be and offer advice and resources to help you build the best marriage possible.
There are so many fantastic resources geared at strengthening marriage and I don’t claim to be an authority on the subject but I do have experience in this department and can offer encouragement to those of you new to this journey. Today, I’m going to be digging into the New York Times Bestseller "The 5 Love Languages” by Dr. Gary Chapman. He describes a Love Language as the way you or I relate to and receive love. It is vital that we learn no only our own Love Language but that of our partner in order to better communicate and serve them in the journey of marriage.
This book is packed with all sorts of nuggets on building a quality, heartfelt foundation in your marriage but today I specifically want to focus on one section, or one of the 5 Love Languages, Quality Time. It’s probably no surprise to you that the more time we spend with others the better we understand them. Time is funny though, we can be in the same room with a person, sitting on the same couch even but not be engaged with them in the slightest. The time you spend with your partner may be substantial, but if you aren’t being intentional about what you are doing with that time it may not be helping to build that relationship.
Quality Time is going to look different of every couple. For some it might be watching a movie together and discussing it afterwards but for others it may be doing a task or activity like yard work. The key to making this time spent together quality is all centered around where the focus of your attention is at any given point. If you are together but one of you is on their phone scrolling through Facebook you are hardly working toward strengthening your relationship. Dr. Chapman says “Some husbands and wives think they are spending time together when, in reality, they are only living in close proximity.”
I want to challenge you today to find one way that you can be more intentional about the time you are spending with your partner today. Can the two of you tackle a chore together tonight? Could you have dinner together without cellphones being at the table? Its so easy to transform activities that you are already engaged into quality time activities by pre-planning how you are going to enter into that situation. If hanging out distraction free is something new for the two of you then it is probably going to require some conversation to make sure that both of you are on the same page around expectations. Let me tell you being actively engaged at spending quality time is so important, find something that you both enjoy doing and make a real effort for that activity to appear on your calendar regularly.
Are you curious about the other 4 Love Languages? Check Out Dr. Chapman’s excellent book today.